Well.. these are some home remedies I got via mail.. I believe they'll b of use to everyone..
Do use these.. for a Blissful life...

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you wake up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

12. Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

13. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Philosophy, God and Destiny...

My take on philosophy is pretty simple... u can't make sense outta something... philosophise it...!

that's what my friend does, one day i asked him if there was rain when the gods piss... when is there snow?

his reply to that was pretty philosophical, he said (in a mystic tone) "child! there's a goddess up there who makes crappy thingies outta wool and she send it down as snow..." now why didn't I ever think of that?!?!?!

No wonder the ratio of sheep reared to woollen products produced never match....

but i still wonder what they mean when they say, " it was all written before we were born..."

THIS line troubles me a LOT! and when i say a lot... i mean a lot...


what do they imply?!?!?

that we are just puppets and that some mighty bearded fellow decides what we are to do??!?!

i sneeze... so that was written all long back too?
that god dude must be pretty jobless if he can control such minute things... or he must be billion sigma or something never to make any mistakes...!

personally... i think destiny is crap; there's no such thing called destiny, no matter what one does it was all ones own doing. Its the wimps who make up reasons like destiny for their failure, and if u blame your success on destiny, then you aren't giving yourself enough credit!

and the thing about god?
does he exist?
where is the mighty lord?
what does he do in his free time?
does he like Al Pacino?

such questions still bother me... and i think if i ever have to achieve nirvana and god-knows-what-not! to get answers to these questions... I'd rather give it a rest and finish my assignments on time... more of a worthwhile exercise...


and that's that.

Nose rings and general blah blah bitching....

WOW! its been a really long time since i've been here and maan i'm like totally clueless abt wats going on! anyway...i guess i need to keep y'all reminded that i'm alive and awake. 

Well its nearly a month since my b'day... it was one of the most amazing birthdays i've ever had.... i got a new fastrack watch (courtesy my sis hating me old one), a calvin and hobbes collection,a bracelet and a chain and the cutest cellphone toy ever! (But that fell apart a week later and lets leave it at that) and a BLUEBERRY  CHEESECAKE as a b'day cake (PICS comin soon ;) ) and of course...an amazing dinner at pizza hut with the entire staff singing happy b'day (well that was a bit embarassing but nice nevertheless)

So my life's been pretty irritating recently with me not having time for almost anything exccept studying,writing records...blah blah blah...i'm somehow trying to find time to do the stuff i really wanna do like listen to music or just chill in my room.

Arthi started working recently so me seeing a lot less of her and i'm starting to miss her like hell :( 

and arjun too! its been soooo long since we last talked... 

I got a nose ring yesterday...mom threw a fit thinking i'd actually pierced my nose. Had to calm her down and convince her that i haven't got my nose pierced......YET......................................... ;)

Anyways....heres the most recent updates-

1)I got a nose ring

2)Might be getting my ears pierced soon

3)i sOOOOOOOOOOO want a tattoo!

4)I study like....hell.. :|

5)3 morons thought that i couldn't actually write the songs i'd written in my diary

6)Archana is my soul sis!

7)School is a right pain in the neck and there should be a ban on it!!!

8)I was wrong about my physics teacher liking me :|

9)Apparently half the guys hate me for god knows wat reason

10)I'm trying to get a band together 

11)I'm the drummer

12)Archana on guitar

13)Levis skinny jeans are something i can't really live without

14)Junk food sickens me but thats not really new now is it

15)I wear kaajal

16)I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR TUTION IN FIVE SECONDS!

Oh and before i go....who the hell is lavanya? (new author)

Dream on a SleeplesS NighT

You never know how the best things in life can throw your life over. Like sipping coffee in a coffee house or like watching a movie. How you had never imagined yourself doing something because you thought it’s lame or impractical and you end up doing just the same. It’s wonderful how the next step you’ll take can just leave you clueless about yourself. And you can’t do anything about it and that’s the worst part.

How childish is falling for a movie star? And not just falling falling, but falling so hard that you don’t know what hit you or what you’ve hit. And it’s so whimsical that you can’t do anything about it neither it’s possible to get out of it.

I know it because it has happened with me. My big mistake… watching Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na (JTYJN).

You’d have guessed who I’m in love with. And for the dumbasses who didn’t, its Genelia D’souza.
Laugh all you can but I’m clueless about what I’m doing here you know. I’ve had crazy fits about actresses before also. Okay well, I’ve had sophisticated fits about actresses before too. But this is completely out of the world. In its literal sense. How’d you explain me having her wallpapers on my cell phone? Both the screens (Nokia 6131… I’ve to get a new one though. its in ruins…).I‘ve always thought of putting a celebrity wallpaper on one’s cell phone as lame. And I’ve actually taken all the pains to get wallpapers from internet to my laptop. And believe me, I’m very lazy.
Anyways the point is that I’ve fallen or if you want to call it a crush, I’ve a huge uncontrollable crush on Genelia. And the worst part is that she has no idea. Well I know it’s nothing new for her. But it’s new for me. And a huge thing on top of that. I mean, how often does that happen. With me? Never.

So now the state is that I’m flipping TV channels to find videos featuring her. Shuffling the radio channels just to listen to JTYJN’s songs. I mean it’s weird. I know you know. But I don’t know how to get out of it.

I mean let’s face it. I’d never be able to meet her let aside the prospect of anything else. She is a movie star. A MOVIE STAR for god’s sake. What the hell was I thinking?

Well nothing at all. It just happened. And worst part is that I can’t do anything about it. I’m not at all famous; I have passable looks and no money at all. What good am I. I should’ve had a lot of money, should’ve born next door to Genelia. Ah... whims at its best. I’m letting out a secret. I wouldn’t have been able to ask her out even then. Damn it..! I’m of no use.

I know I’m a grown up and I don’t drink milk out of a bottle, though I like to eat milk powder out of the box every now and then. Anyways its very amusing you know. Sometimes being whimsical isn’t very bad. Here it’s sweet. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to get out of it but every time I think about getting out of it one thought flashes across my mind’s darkness. Can’t “Mast (Aftab & Urmila)” and Notting Hill (Hugh & Julia) be possible in real life?

I wish I had a magic wand. Hell if my wishes are coming true. I wish my wishes about Genelia come true.

Anyways… a precautionary measure to be taken by all of you: “Don’t be an ass and never fall for a movie start. And even if you do, wish that it’ll be somebody not as beautiful, as pretty, as cute, as awesome, as charming, as amazing and as unforgettable as Genelia.”

And yeah... pray for me... I’ve only got one life……

The lone rose

The single rose

stood in its field

watching the sky turn dark

she had served her use

when she was alive

but now her time had passed

She felt her energy

dwindling

as her petals

let go of their smell

her leaves went limp

and she could hardly tell

light from dark

The lone rose

stood in her field

watching the world

go dark

she had tried to smile

through death

but now her time had passed

The start of a zillion problems

Okay...we've all heard about arjun's famous vodafone rhapsody but have you heard about the not so famous aishwarya's start of a zillion problems?

 I guessed not.

Anyways...as some of y'all know, i'm an airCel subscriber. Yes i know that'll invoke a lot of blank looks thats cuz aircel is only in TN...its called spice telecom in all other places and it has to be the worst network in the history of bad networks... So heres the start of a zillion problems.

9 p.m:I'm happily chatting away to one of my best friends and she gets ready to tell me a piece of totally juicy gossip and all off a sudden.

Click.

The line goes dead.

The balance notification comes up... I just lost 4 bucks talking to her. No big. 

Then she calls back. "Hey Aish what...." She never gets to finish the sentence. Last call duration:4 seconds. Errm...okay then. I call her again. 

"Sorry bout that,the line got cut...so tell me!" i say eagerly. "Yeah you won't believe this but...." 

Three short omnious beeps.

"Hello? Hello?" I look at my phone. The black butterfly wallpaper stares back at me. Grrr...

Okay i call back. "Archie..Archie are you there?" I say after i hear a hello. All of a sudden a male voice begins talking about his road trip to chandigarh(with "tashan" style englees) and i get totally freaked out and cut the call.

%@#$#%#$#@#@ (that was me hurling abuses shortly after i dropped my phone in surprise cause it suddenly freaking vibrated in my ear)

"Archie are you talking to somebody else?" I say after the male voice stops. "Aish" she says. "Yes?" 

"I freaking told you i'm alone at home!"

Cross talk! **%*$$**%*$

So i cut the call and call her back again and finally..we manage to talk for about 9 minutes after which the call gets cut again. The balance notification thing pops up again and apparently i've lost (approx)7 rupees of my balance (it might be more or less... I don't really remember people)

"Hey boi, u gotta text message" my phone omniously sings. (Don't ask) and apparently archie got fed up of the poor network and she decides to head to sleep.

O.M.F.G.(THATs not in a good way)

So i head off to sleep too. Next morning my sis calls customer care(shes an aircel victim too) and asks why the network is so poor. She puts the phone on speaker so i can hear and i have never heard a lamer explanation.

He mumbles something about two towers' signals interfering with each other and suddenly the line gets cut...AGAIN..

I make a trip to the aircel office and the guy ends up mumbling something abt him being responsible only for recharges and something about hellotunes.

So i did what every other aircel victim would do in times of difficulty.

I switched to airtel

Thanks

This post comes straight from the heart, and on impulse... this last week has been my god so varied for me i still cant come to proper terms with it..
#Thanks a lot Aishwarya for actually calling me up and talking to me when i was lying face down on the terrace all broken and shaken and giving me strength.
# Thanks a lot Pooja for being there even when you're not there and helping me through all this mess and giving me reasons to live.
# Thanks a lot Bharath for giving me a place to stay in Bangalore when i needed to get out of this city so badly
# Thanks a lot Nitin, Vaseem and Harsha for the awesome time we had on Vaseem's b'day.. it cheered me up so much.
# Thanks a lot Shamitha for making it to the meeting and making me feel better, and for the ride to Aunt's place :)
# Thanks a lot Pruthwik for coming over to meet us and for the company
# Thanks a lot Shashank for breakfast and the ride to the bus stand
# Thanks a lot Nikethana for wasting a valuable "rare free sunday afternoon" and talking to me and making me feel better.
# Thanks a lot Bharath for driving us all up 7 floors of the parking lot.
# Thanks a lot Ranjani for talking all the teasing with not too much dignity, but yet taking it ;)
# Thanks a lot Bharath for all the pep talk and gyaan.
# Thanks a lot Zainab for being the chirpy happy thing that you are :))
# Thanks a lot Varsha for meeting us after 9 years and making my day.
# Thanks a lot Prateek and Ananya for agreeing to try and help with the Orkut problem
# Thanks to you again for offering to come down here for the weekend and giving me something to look forward to :)
# Thanks a lot Vidya akka for hearing me out and being the pillar i lean on always
# Thanks a lot Pooja for calling up waking me up at 2 am and making me feel alive.
# Thanks a lot Manasa for calling up and keeping me company all afternoon :)
Thanks to everyone else who have always shown me encouragement and love and stopping by and trying to pick me up whenever i'm down...
Thank you :)

Beautiful girl

Hey Beautiful girl
Don’t eat that much
Hey beautiful girl
You’ll never be good enough

Don’t think I don’t know
Where all the food you eat goes
Hey beautiful girl
You’re so stupid
To your beliefs
Stay rooted

Hey beautiful girl
Don’t be such a bitch
Be careful girl
Don’t get too deep into the mix

Beautiful girl
Who do you think you’re fooling
Beautiful girl can’t you see its not working
Those voices will always tell you
That you’re not good enough

Beautiful girl
Step out of your shell
Your beautiful inside out
And you know it well

I’ll dry your eyes
I’ll wipe your tears away
Just give me your hand
And have the faith
That I can make you feel okay
I can’t bear to see you suffer
I understand your mental torture

I know about that strong self hate
You hold in your heart for everyone to see
I understand how you feel
Every time you see
Fattening pizzas
And calorie-crammed ice cream sundaes

So stop trying to be
A  fashion magazine imitation
You should honor yourself
For being god’s best creation

Beautiful girl
Hold my hand
Together we’ll find
A reality that’s a lot less cold

Forget those other girls
Forget about them
You’re better than them
It doesn’t matter what they say
All that matters
Is how you feel and the way you think

Ignore those voices
Break free
From the chains they bind you with

Your beautiful as you are
I promise thee
That I’ll always be there
And when you think everyone hates you
Just remember that I care

Beautiful girl
Take my hand
You’ll be just fine
I’ll spend with you
All my time
Just to make sure
That you’re all right

 

Yaaaaaahoo [-X

AAAARRGGHH!!!.... * thump thump *
* bang bang * rrrrrrrrrrrr {chainsaw} *
This is a fairly accurate description of my feelings towards a product by one of the world's leading companies... A company on the verge of being taken over by a bully... A product that i was using since the past 7 months without too much trouble.
Yes you probably guessed it wrong :P, I'm talking to the famous Yahoo Messenger.
Why Am i expressing violent feelings towards it? Pure and simple...

It conked.

And man, did it conk Big time...

Ok, here's what happened...
Two days ago, bright and sunny, i connected to the net. Checked my scraps, spent some time on Typeracer, answered a few e mails, then feeling a little jobless by then, just clicked on the messenger icon.

The empty box, then gradual filling of it, My ID and Password already waiting there, the next second a happy face saying "signing in as arjun.buffon {invisible}" all that happened without a hitch.
Then,it all started foing wrong...
4 out of my 21 contacts were online, each in their various activities like busy or stepped out or doing nothing...
So i just clicked on the person doing nothing...
Just when the IM box started appearing, a strange clinging sound...
Like a message from God
" You will now pay for your sins son..."

* script error... not enough storage... blah... still want to run scripts?*
Two options.. Yes..No..
Death or Persecution.
What did i choose?.... Being the brave heart i am, clicked "Yes"
Apparently they have a system to remove the flash in the pan bravery.
Same box, this time citing some other mumbo jumbo numbers..
"Yes" ? or "No" ?
I took a deep breath and said
"yes"
Another box!!!
Me: For the love of God!!!.. Just get on with what you have to do will you???
* presses "yes" around ten times *
Phew...
The evil is vanquised.
All hail me...
But wait...
Something's not right...
The audibles smileys photo sharing nothing!.. poof! vanish...
I type "hi there" in the text box, and my finger hovers over the return key... Then i brace myself and hit the button...

God again

* script error.. Yahoo is not valid *

Me: #%^((*%$#(*$#$!!$^&*
{for the benefit of the young readers, I am reproducing the toned down, "clean" version of what i'm saying below}

What? Micosoft bought Yahoo and killed it already??

I for once, keep my head on and do the logical thing.
I tried to copy the error code , but no. Apparently Yahoo dosent like its dirty linen washed in its backyard so no cant do sorry...

I go to the messenger website.. Notice there's a new version of messenger out.
Hey these big corporations rectify their bugs in the old ones while coming out with their new products right? why dont i try it?

Alright then..... * fast forward*.. summary of fast forwarded period: Congrats, I'm the owner of the brand new, slick, cool, Messenger 9.
Right.. on to business..
*signing in*
{I'm actually beginning to enjoy the new interface...}
There.. all signed in.. cool.. new type of buttons and all...
And then...
Horrors of all horrors...
My sins are not purged, and the ghosts not exorcised.
* script error...blah..* In a more stylish, almost "na na na na naah" box..
The silent transfer of my hair to my hand begins...
* Fast forward *
I keep hitting the yes's and finally learn that the other person is getting my messages, but i cant see either what i have typed or what she is saying...
Fun no?
* Fast forward *
I accept my defeat for the time being and seek help from the knowledgable...
Yahoo's help site for messenger 9 has a biiig article starting with " Be assured that yahoo is aware of a script error"... thats having us from our backsides and we are recievng many bombs in our mail because of this error, and we dont take that much pride in ruining other's lives...
They have asked us unfortunate ppl hand chosen by Yahoo to download a few releases of macromedia flash player and some java andsome other stuf..
Busted my already fast depleting bandwidth on every single one of those boon-on-demand softwares...
Honestly, all you people out there, how many of you actually expect it to work after all this?
question your hearts my dear fellow humans.
I can sense the majority of you dear readers sharing my plight and feelings in the emphatic "NO" forming on your lips...
Yes, it was worse than ever.
And Pooja, {refer last post} chose to come online at this time...
So here i Am.. standing behind a one way portal of communication.
I've tried rectifying it, looked in various forums, learnt that many many people around the world are facing the same problem...
But for now, I'm stranded. No IM ing.. :((
I'm not even mentioning the other disgusting stuff. wait, let me just do.
They wanted me to be signed in to get to the help central part of their site,
so one page asking for my password appeared, with some long winded explainatio of why i'm being asked for a password.
What it dint say was they would ask my password over and over again.
It got stuck in some endless loop... the help page would load, immediately followd by the password page. amazing...

So here's the predicamant i am in...
Any way out?

P.S: I tried their Web Messenger thingy.. here's what came.
and later is how Yahoo troubles me...

There are somethings money CAN buy...

For some reason i seem to be obsessed with this statement. There is nothing very extraordinary about this sentence. Remember those old preachy statements which told you money cant buy love, money cant buy sleep. money cant buy you god etc.. Lets go one step further and look at some things money CANT really buy us.
1.Money cannot buy us useless junk mail and spam from unheard of companies and f(r)iends.
2.Getting a virus on your computer which erases all data(including those naughty things you downloaded without anyone knowing...)
3.money certainly cant buy us the experience of running out of petrol in the middle of nowhere.
4.Money cannot buy you the amazing experience of getting caught while bunking by the principal.
5.Money can buy you better results. Money cant buy you worse results.That is a job for VTU.
6.Money can get you healthcare in a hospital.It cant get you a date with the hot nurse.
7.Money can buy you condoms.It cannot buy you friends who punch holes in it.
8.MoNEy CanNoT GeT You sCraPs LikE ThIs iN OrkUt
9.Money can get your work done in government offices.What it cant do is get your homework done by you(sad.you cant bribe yourself)
10.Money can take you to switzerland. It cannot create an avalanche and save the world(think tubelight,think)
11.Money can get you a rotten tomato to throw at someone. money cannot get someone to throw tomatoes at you(It comes under social service.100% tax exemption)
12.Money cannot get you a mother or a father. It can get you the shop uncle or aunty to act like them if the principal calls.
13.Money certainly cannot buy me. An inexhaustible diamond mine can.
14.Money cannot torture you into reading this blog. That is a job for jobless man.defender of joblessness and boredom(Guess who?)
15.You are stupid.Just like me.(this is a message in the interval,nothing to do with the topic at hand)
16.Money cannot buy you 'a' girlfriend. It can buy you lots of them.
17. Money is like the system.The more you have,the more you are expected to have.It cannot buy you liberation.
18.Money cannot buy you money.
19.Money cannot buy you great friends.(No more comments.surprise.surprise)
20.Lastly, money cant make you change who you are.The laws of the universe are inscrutable.In short, it means we are doomed.

And hell, if money is the root of all evil and people tell you to avoid it like the plague, why is it that there is a god for money??
Think my dear friends, and if you felt inspired to get rid of your pocket money, contact me on naidu.bharath@gmail.com.

CHEERS!!!