For people who do not know me very well, I don't really like TV very much. I never bothered for a very long time. Until dad went and procured a huge-ass flat screen Bravia.
Our comically dysfunctional family means that we all eat at different times, and that means I get to eat alone often.
In these dreadful times, I turn to the TV for solace. To help me sail through solitary meals. The DTH system means that I can group my favorite channels in a clump. So I've set Discovery, NGC, Fox Traveler, Discovery Science and Discovery Turbo in one series. This usually gives me the half hour fix of things that I'm really interested in.
But every average half hour that I sit down to watch TV also includes the almost 15 minutes of commercials. They wreck my brain.
Seriously, ten minutes into these commercials and any non earth inhabitor (i dint want to say aliens) can be convinced that all of life's problems include being too dark, having bad hair and incredibly, more hair related problems.
Earlier, it was only women who would scream and faint on-screen if they ever so much as had a pimple. Now we have to endure John Abraham in a spandex running outdoors and teaching you how to be fair.
Then there is the supposed tennis pro, Anu, who refused to wear "tennis dress" in a match BECAUSE HER FRICKIN SKIN TONE DID NOT MATCH HER FACE. Hang on a minute, lets deconstruct this. So common knowledge says that the parts of the body always covered tend to be slightly fairer. But aha, this woman's face, being ravaged by creams for so many years manages to turn whiter than them places where the sun dont shine. Oh and the solution propounded is not to just stop bleaching her face. Surprise, there is a new "revolutionary" product that combines everything of everything that makes her shed her inhibitions to wear "tennis dress". I will dare vaseline body lotion my eternal servitude if they get Multiple grand slam winner Venus or Serena Williams to promote this same tennis wala package.
Super mutant Hair that is used to pull an ambulance out of a ditch? Why do they think that we all think our scalps are a war zone that need "repairing"?
A sunscreen combined with whitening lotion? WTF is whitening anyway. WHY on earth would you want to look like you've just seen a Ghost?
The absolute last straw - sometime ago during breakfast I saw an ad for a deo. Not the supposed attracting and spontaneous sex-inducing types.(that's not true, btw, i've tried) No no, this one is far more pointless. This one whitens your armpits apparently.
I dont want to live on this planet anymore.